Beyond Debate: A Leader's Guide to Dialogic Facilitation and Transformative Conversations

In the interest of providing multiple means of engaging with this blog, below is the podcast style conversation, using our AI friends Johnny and Joanne who go into each blog post at a deeper level. Or below is the usual written format.

Debating is valued skill. Whether it be the intellectual battle of cat and mouse or simply the ability to dig in, reinforce your position with verbal barbwire and launch a barrage of counterfactuals, myths and even insults at your counterpart. We have seen this on new media with more videos of people being "destroyed" then there are words to even destroy people with.

Debating, whatever approach you take is based on a simple foundation. There is a correct answer. There is a hierarchy of knowledge. The simple outcome is who is at the top of that hierarchy by the end.

Debating has its place. There are simple things which can be right or wrong. Or even in more complex scenarios, the requirement to defend your position allows you to understand where the weaknesses are in your defences. The process of strengthening them enables the building of a better argument through the development of knowledge.

But, debating requires you to put your ego on the front line. The winning is the end goal, not what is right or wrong. This is where dialogue has its benefits. It may not be as entertaining, which in a world full of YouTube and gotcha's means it may be more effective than entertaining.

Understanding Dialogue

Dialogue comes from the word “dia” & “logos”, dia translating to through; “logos” translates to word, so through words (Isaacs, 1999). David Bohm describes dialogue "as an arena in which collective learning takes place and out of which a sense of increased harmony, fellowship and creativity can arise." (Bohm et al., 1991).

A key part of Bohm's approach to dialogue is the term suspension. The idea of 'having' our thoughts over 'being' our thoughts. This is almost the scientific approach to thinking. The best phrase I have heard is "holding my ideas loosely". Like a pro sports player, holding their racket, club or bat too tightly can make their ability to adapt to the moment impossible. Holding a view too tightly, being your view, even your view becoming your identity are all intellectual cul-de-sacs.

The Container of Dialogue

In dialogue we will often talk about 'the container'. The environment in which dialogue takes part in. This container needs to be both welcoming, safe and strong. It needs to be able to hold the initial tension as people transition beyond the polite into exploring where values diverge, this would normally then break into debate. A facilitator of a dialogic group then draws attention to that tension, asks where that tension may come from, asks participants to notice and pay attention to that tension. Ask each other and themselves why that firmly held belief is so firmly held.

Ideas are like tapas dishes, you may have an idea of what you want to eat, but other dishes, like others' ideas are always to be tried and experienced. Dialogue accepts there are multiple positions to be taken. A 6 can either be a 9 or a 6 depending on where you stand. Debating what is the truth is fruitless, understanding someone else's position relative to the number is the only way to understand the other truths. Dialogue can allow people to explore opinions that may be hidden by their deepest held values and beliefs.

The Four Quadrants: A Journey Through Dialogue

(Isaac’s 4 Fields of Dialogue,2009)

Like any journey worth taking, dialogue requires a map. As facilitators, we can understand this journey through four distinct quadrants, each representing a different level of conversation and engagement:

1. "Talking Nice" - The Politeness Trap

This is where most conversations begin - in the realm of polite exchange and surface-level agreement. It's characterised by:

• Rule-following and conventional politeness

• Hesitation to express real thoughts

• Re-enacting familiar conversational patterns

While comfortable, this zone rarely leads to genuine insight or innovation.

2. "Talking Tough" - The Clash of Ideas

Here, the real positions start emerging. It's marked by:

• Conflict and clashing viewpoints

• Strong assertion of opinions

• Focus on what people think, not why they think it

This stage can be productive if managed well, but can also become a debate battleground if not carefully facilitated.

3. "Reflective Dialogue" - The Mirror Stage

This is where transformation begins. Participants start to:

• Surface their mental models and assumptions

• Examine their own thinking patterns

• Share hidden thoughts and feelings

Trust deepens here as people move from defending positions to exploring perspectives.

4. "Generative Dialogue" - The Creation Zone

The highest form of dialogue, where:

• New ideas and insights emerge

• Collective understanding leads to innovation

• Participants tap into deeper sources of knowing

This is where genuine co-creation happens, moving beyond individual perspectives to collective wisdom.

Moving Forward: From Theory to Practice

The journey from debate to dialogue isn't about abandoning critical thinking - it's about expanding our capacity for collective understanding. As Isaac shares, there's a fundamental choice point between defending and suspending. The most skilled OD consultants recognise that too many conversations default to defence and debate, missing opportunities for deeper exploration and understanding.

Even those who preach "psychological safety" or "diversity of thought" can find themselves trapped in debate mode, defending rather than exploring positions. This may be a microcosm of our broader political landscape, where digging trenches has replaced playing football in no-man's land.

The Challenge Ahead

As facilitators and leaders, our role isn't to eliminate debate but to create spaces where both advocacy and inquiry can flourish. The four quadrants provide a map, but the journey requires skill, patience, and practice. The next time you're facilitating a conversation, notice which quadrant you're in. Are you stuck in polite agreement? Trapped in tough talk? Or are you creating conditions for something new to emerge?

The journey from debate to dialogue isn't just about changing how we talk - it's about transforming how we think, learn, and create together. In a world increasingly polarised by debate, the ability to facilitate genuine dialogue might just be the most valuable skill we can develop.

• Bohm, D., Factor, D., & Garrett, P. (1991). Dialogue – a proposal – infed.org: https://infed.org/dialogue-a-proposal/

• Isaacs, W. (1999). Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together. Random House .